Monday, Jan. 28, 2008 6:28 P.M.
Monday Funday It�s that time of the year again. That would be precisely 6 months after whose people you heard uttering the words, Damn it�s hot our there!� �I can�t stand this humidity!� It�s too hot to do anything!� are now being heard saying, Man, its cold out there!� �I hate it when it gets this cold!� �You can�t do anything outside when it�s this cold.� Hello? It�s January!!! Get a clue! I know, I know. I say this every year. Oh well. It is my brother�s fault. He is the one that sets me off every time. The summer scenario starts around July and the winter one starts around December. After a month of the same old sentences, I�m ready to say something like, umm I dunno, maybe �Shut the hell up!!!!� You would think that would work, huh? Nope. Tried it. He just laughed and the very next time he came up he walked in and said, �Man, its cold out there.� I give up.
I personally like the winter. I love the show after the walks are shoveled. I love the clean look of it before the plows make it all dirty. I love to perambulate about the yard. (I said perambulate and you didn�t, neener.)
Let me correct myself. I usedto like that. I can�t walk that far right now. We�re working on it though. I have nothing else to write about at the moment. I know. With all the fast living and exciting times I have, one would think I would have lots to talk about. Nadda. Oh, wait! I love picking on Terry. He loves it to. He loves it because when ever I do, you guys are all like, Awww, poor Terry. Awww. He is so nice to you. Awww he is so good to clean your house, cook your meals, and wait on you hand an foot. So yeah, he doesn�t mind. I have to tell you this cause it proves that he isn�t smarter than a 5th grader. Oh wait, that�s another entry. Another time. This is about America�s Funniest Videos. We were watching it last night and as a joke, a woman had taken a Cornish Hen and stuck it inside a turkey. Both were cooked. Her husband was in on the joke. They had a grown daughter in the other room. They called her out and showed her the hen inside the turkey. The older woman�s husband said, �Did you know you bought a pregnant turkey?� She answered that she didn�t. The younger woman was astonished! She said she had never seen a pregnant turkey before. I was laughing my ass off at the woman for being so gullible. I happened to glance over at Terry and as soon as I did, I could read his mind. �Terry. You are NOT going to tell me that you thought the turkey was pregnant.� �No, I heard them say that they put the Cornish hen inside of it.� �Okay, let me rephrase that. You are NOT going to tell me that a bird inside another bird didn�t strike you as odd.� Just for a minute. God love him. In all fairness so he knows you can laugh at me too, we were watching an episode of are you smarter than a 5th grader the other night. The question was, �What is the only state that has just one syllable?� Yes folks, it took me about 45 seconds to come up with Maine. Some of you may think that 45 seconds was pretty good. Well it might very well be if you are from Michigan or Texas, but I was born and raised in Maine! I wonder how long it just took The Flying Rat or Nicky to come up with it. I leave you with this on this fine Monday afternoon. ***********************************************
Cannibal Restaurant A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu...
Tourist: $5
Broiled Missionary: $10.00
Fried Explorer: $15.00
Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00
The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, 'Why such a price difference for the Politician?" The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one? They're so full of shit, it takes all morning."
Later,
Cosmic
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