Friday, Oct. 04, 2002 6:41 P.M.
New meaning to the term "Funky" Thank you all for the wonderful comments on my design, but ya know what?? It's too dark for me. I am getting depressed with all the darkness, so I think I am going to change it again. Don't yell! I'm sorry! Ok, enough groveling for forgiveness. You'll get over it. I wish I could be like others and just make one as my trademark and leave it alone, but I can't. I need change every now and then. Maybe I will do my winter one early and leave it alone until spring. Ya, sure. I haven't been updating much because I am still in this stupid funk. I am overweight, facing surgery, having a real tough time with the cigarette quiting thing and just want to sleep for the next month. It will pass, I'm sure. I have been reading other diaries but not with the steady everyday regimin that I was once doing. So now, I find myself reading back four of five posts for each of you to catch up. I am sorry if I have missed anything that I would normally comment on. Please forgive me that. It does bother me as I have people read me everytime I update and I feel I am selling them short. I just need to smap out of this. I am not eating right, I am huge now and I just don't know how to get back to my spastic silly self. Hopefully after surgery, it will come back. I am way to bleak lately. I feel like I should die my hair black, get some black lipstick and change my name to Goth. Wednesday is getting here quickly. I was trying to figure out why this time it is not as bubbly and "ok" as last time and I finally stumbled on the reason. Last time I had the surgery I got all caught up in my tube top quest. I have nothing to occupy my mind this time except staying off the cigarettes. It's not quite so much fun (?) this time. I am nervous this time too. I don't know why. I haven't talked to anyone this time either. The Doctor this go around isn't as caring. He is just a plastic surgeon. My surgeon last time was warm and fuzzy and made me laugh. I need a laugh. Someone send me a laugh for God's sake! I think I am going to make myself an intoxicating beverage. It's Friday night and This week-end is going to be about cleaning so Hubby won't get all twisted up in the cobwebs while I'm recovering. Either that, or I am just going to leave the house as-is and charge $10.00 a pop admission to the haunted house on Halloween. I can throw a sheet over hubby and pretend he is ET and I can be the bride of frankenstein, albiet a heavy bride. Yuk-yuk. Later... Later,
Cosmic
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