Saturday, Sept. 10, 2005 9:30 A.M.
Glad it's Saturday. I went to the hospital Thursday night. I�m fine now, but I was a tad nervous when out of the blue, I started getting chest pains. There have been so many people around me lately with heart related issues, It was the first thing that came to mind. After fitting me with an IV, taking blood, giving oxygen, taking x-rays and doing an EKG, I was out the door. Diagnosis? Stress. No shit Sherlock. Seriousley. It turned out to be spasms in my esophagus. Nothing fatal, nothing to worry (more stress) about. The doctor asked if I had a lot going on in my life the past few months. I told him that he didn�t have enough time. I�m not much of a yeller. I almost never cry. I try not to bitch. So instead, I internalize. Mysteriously, once I was made aware of the cause, the pains went away. I sat and thought what was going on and how much of it I could change to make life a little easier. This is the list of things over the past two months that I had no control over.: Best friend�s husband had quadruple bypass> Brother had angioplasty. Tenant where I work had heart attack and subsequent bypass. Had to find new home for GoodGirl. Thoughts of moving inhabiting every corner of my brain. Glitch in the RI DMV that would not allow me to renew my expired registration. Death of another friend�s mother. The constant feelings of sadness about all the people involved in the hurricane. But everything on that list is nothing compared to what is going on down south. I think about that and then I feel guilty for getting stressed over my own problems. It feels selfish. It feels trivial. Then I realize that it�s ok to feel bad about stuff in my own life. I realized that as bad as it is for those people, it doesn�t minimize my own fears. It doesn�t lessen my family and friends problems. It�s ok for me to be stressed. Have you ever noticed that though? How many people in the past two weeks have said something to the effect that no matter what horrible thing is going on in their life, that it is nothing compared to the people to our south. A dear friend of mine, (The one with the husband that just had quadruple bypass) said to me the other day that she was facing losing her house. There was a problem with her husband�s temporary disability insurance and none had come through yet. They were behind on their mortgage, car payments etc. She was at her wit�s end and still said that she was horrible to mention it because the people down south were so much worse off. This may be true but I am going to stop apologizing to myself and others because my problems aren�t as big. They are still my problems and they are still big to me. Selfish? I don�t think so. It is human nature to worry about ones self when in a medical, financial or other situation. To bury our own personal feelings so as not to appear whiney is not healthy. It will find another way to release itself. Mine was chest pain. I won�t make that mistake again.
I have made a bunch of progress on the moving front though. I finally got a quote for the movers. It looks like moving day �MAY� be the 24th. We�ll see. I may also be able to take our stove and fridge. It looks good. Of course the one thing that is still up in the air is how much my rent will be. Sounds strange doesn�t it? I don�t have a clue what the rent will be because it is Public Housing. The way it usually goes is that you pay 30% of your income. But when people are working and one is getting Social Security and a pension, one does not fall into this formula. If it did, our rent would be more than most other units in town. We will be paying top dollar for this unit. The top dollar is based on what a similar apartment in a similar area would fetch in the private market. There is already a "Flat Rent" amount in place, but it was established 8 years ago. The market has gone up vastly since then. Time for new numbers. It is right to do this. I am not complaining. The rent for a two bedroom right now is set at $605.00. That is so far away from realistic, it isn't funny. We have no problem paying more than that. I just want to know how much more it will be. This will be decided by the Board of Commissioners for my agency. They will make that decision on Tuesday night. I can�t wait. (insert sarcasm here). As Alfred E. Newman was quoted, �What, me worry?�
|
Later,
Cosmic
|
yesterday's gone/tomorrow's coming- - 2009-07-27
- - 2009-07-07
- - 2009-06-29
- - 2009-06-26
- - 2009-06-09
MY PERSONAL HEALTH PROGRAM
� kmurray 2007 - 8
|
