Monday, Apr. 12, 2004 7:22 P.M.
E-mails and Tax Day Another e-mail funny:
To all my friends, thanks to you sending me chain letters in 2003:
I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.
I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me
I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogens they contain may turn me gay.
I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing other than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.
I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. Funny that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...
I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program.
My Ericcson phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland. My Own Additions:
I told every young girl I know not to use tampons because they contain asbestos that makes you bleed more, ergo making you buy more tampons Spent 5 hours sweeping up all the rice from friends wedding so the birds wouldn't strangle Got thrown out of said wedding reception for not allowing groom to use alka-seltzer for fear they may drop one and a seagull would scoff it up and cause it's stomach to blow up.
But I am positive that all this is the cause of a stinking chain that I broke or forgot to follow and I got a curse from hell.
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you don't send this in an e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will crap on you today at 7pm.
And of course today is the 12th of April, that means only 3 more days before you have to send in your taxes. I have decided to do like Snoopy. I am sending the following to the IRS
IRS
Andover, MA
Dear Sirs:
I have decided to cancel my subscription to your services. Please take my name off your mailing list. Sincerely, Cosmicrayola Later,
Cosmic
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yesterday's gone/tomorrow's coming- - 2009-07-27
- - 2009-07-07
- - 2009-06-29
- - 2009-06-26
- - 2009-06-09
MY PERSONAL HEALTH PROGRAM
� kmurray 2007 - 8
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