I just came back from the hospital. Yesterday, I went and they gave me an injection in the arm. Then I had to lay still on a table for 1/2 hour while they did x-rays of my heart. Today, they gave me an IV with saline and I went on the treadmill. When my heart got up to a hefty beat, they injected a minute amount of radioactive dye into the line, made me walk another minute or so and then back on the table for another 1/2 of pics. Now, what is up with that? I for one am all for tests to make sure I'm healthy, but these people are still in the stone age. I cannot imagine why medicine hasn't progressed more in this area in the past 25 years. Here's my point:
1. Why does it take 1/2 hour to take these pictures? I have seen scanners on Star Trek that can do it in .000567 seconds. You would think we would have it down to 2-3 minutes by now. 2. What's up with the table? It is no more than 12 inches wide. My butt is a far cry wider than 12 bloody inches! So not only do you have to lie there for 1/2 hour, but you don't dare to doze off for fear of falling off the table. How embarrassing would THAT be? 3. The second day of the test. The lovely IV. I don't know about you, but somehow I didn't quite belive her when she said, "Oh we have new needles now. They are baby needles. They don't hurt like the old ones did." Well this may be so, but they still use the "old" alcohol to pour on it!! Sting doesn't begin to describe the burning that you feel. The nurse put a rather oversized bandage on it when she took it out. I couldn't figure out why till I got home and took it off. I now have a purple lump the size of a grape sticking up on the top of my hand. Errrr, did ya kind of miss the vein on the first attempt, sweetie? On to the treadmill. I was walking along, minding my own business when all of a sudden I got one of my lovely little panic attacks. I don't get them often. Good thing. They are totally irrational. I just got this instant, intense feeling that I was going to fall off the end of the machine. I have never done that, I will probably never do that. But for that 5-6 minutes, you could not convince me that I wasn't going to. I am embarrassed as hell because I am gripping the handrail so tight my knuckles are totally white. The two techs are just pratteling on and on, trying to keep my mind occupied and off the fact that I am shaking like a leaf and starting to sweat with fear. Did not work. The doctor at one point said, "We are almost there now." I, of coure had to add to my embarrassment by asking the proverbial question, What the Hell is this "WE" are almost there? I, for one AM there and I want off this stupid thing!" To top it all off, the highpoint of the day was when I went to get off the table. I broke my tailbone years ago and it now seems that I can't lie on flat hard objects for any lengh of time anymore. (So much for making love on the carpet) My back locked up. I imagine it was funnier than Hell if you were standing there watching. Here is this 145 pound woman doing a balancing act on a 12 inch wide table having to be helped to sit up by two nurses. All the while, sounds of "oooh" "uhhhh" "owww" coming from my lips. Well, I don't have to have this test again for 2 years. By then, hopefully the hospital staff will have forgotten me. later...
