Sunday, Aug. 04, 2002 1:04 A.M.
Please, Please Help me (help me, help me-e-e uww) Update here. Not a thrill a minute one, but I don't want anyone to think I died or anything. I am going to be more honest in this entry than I have ever been in my diary. It isn't going to be pretty, so if you are looking for laughs, pass me by.
I am, for the first time in my life, in a true depression. How do I know this? Because I have no desire to laugh. This is a first for me. I hate my health. I hate my sadness. I hate not being happy and upbeat. I read the other diaries, like roadiepig and sixweasels and Kathy's kitchenlogic and find humor there and I am genuinly interested in what is going on and then I start to write an entry and I fall flat. I am the one that can find a laugh in most anything. I can't right now. I checked my stats and find I am falling off here. I apologize. I am truly sorry for not being entertaining right now. Maybe it's a menopausal thing, probably is. I told everyone that I am not in the best of health. What I didn't say was the total truth. I told you all I have emphesyma, but what I didn't tell you is that it is severe. If I don't quit smoking in the next few months, I will be toting an oxygen tank by my 51st birthday. You (at least some of you) are thinking, "Why doesn't she just quit?" It sounds easy, huh? Well, for any of you that don't realize it, nicotine is more addictive than Heroine. I have smoked for 34 out of my 49 years. As stupid as this sounds, I don't know how NOT to smoke. It is as if I am trying to give up my best friend. Stupid is as stupid does. Please bear with me as I go through this. I have to do this my way and I have decided to go cold turkey, as I can't use any of the aids. So I am going to tell you all that as of Sunday morning, Eastern Standard time, I am going to quit. Here is the plan and I need all of you to help. It won't cost you a dime. I am going on faith here. I get up at around 9:00. I am really going to need some support here. E-mail me and just tell me all the reasons I should quit and I will print them out and read them all day long, every day till I don't have to anymore. I want to get up Sunday morning and read why I don't want to light up. Please. I am serious here. If ya want to really get friendly, e-mail me your number and I'll call you. I don't really expect anyone to do that, but trust me, I am not a stalker. I would only call to keep my mind occupied. I am not a mass murderer, I assure you. I have a cell phone, so I have free weekends. My sister, Buella is doing Zyban and has gone from 3 packs a day to 3/4 of a pack. Go Buella! I wish It would work for me. I guess I will have to get along with a little help from my friends. Yah, I'll get by with a little help from my friends. Oh, I'll get by with a little help, with a little help, with a little help (oh, shut up! Most of them don't even remember the Beatles!)Ok, so I still have a little humor Later...
Later,
Cosmic
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yesterday's gone/tomorrow's coming- - 2009-07-27
- - 2009-07-07
- - 2009-06-29
- - 2009-06-26
- - 2009-06-09
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