Tuesday, Aug. 06, 2002 7:03 A.M.
Good-bye my friend Well, I'm alive. Yesterday was a wash. I got up and lit up with the excuse that I couldn't do it yesterday because I was home with Terry all day and couldn't do it. We smokers have any and every excuse known to mortal man. How are these:
1. Can't quit today because I have a pile of work to do and I need my cigs to get trhough it.
2. Can't quit today because I have nothing to do and when I have nothing to do I get bored and smoke more.
3. I will quit on Monday.
4. I will quit on the next holiday and will always remember the date.
5. I can't quit on a day that ends with a "Y"
6. It's hard to quit because I enjoy them. Note here: Sure, I enjoy the hacking, the stench, spending the money, being excluded from many places and being short winded. It's bullshit, pure and simple.
So, have I thrown in the towel? Nope. I went out and bought the gum. Have I put a piece in my mouth yet? Nope. The reason?
Ok, here is an excuse that does have a ring of truth to it. Let me first ask you a question.If your best friend was leaving tomorrow for overseas, or parts unknown and you realized you would probably never see that friend again, would you simply say "Goodby" and leave it at that? Of course not. Especially if this were a friend you have spent everyday with for the past 30 years. No. You would spend every minute with that friend until they left. Well, that is what I've done. I have spent the past 48 hours saying goodbye. I have to go to work in a half hour and we are having a great time together right now. We got up and shared a moment in the bathroom earlier. He (I have to give it Some pronoun) waited in the bathroom while I showered and it is sitting here right now as we think about when we first met. He has changed his name many times over the years. When we first met, his name was Pall Mall. We would sneak to be together. He was mom's friend first. I would sneak him out of her purse when she wasn't looking and we would hide in the bushes in the back yard. Years later, he changed his name to Filter Raleigh. He even gave me coupons to buy sheets for my son's crib and yes, since we didn't realize how dangerous he could be, we even let him stay with us in the house around the baby. After a few more years, he changed his name to Winston. He was really popular then. You saw him in all the TV ads and in all the magazines. As time went on, people decided they didn't like my friend too much. They started to blame him for my cough. They blamed him for my son's bronchitis and even for my daughters athsma. How dare they. But since we were a close knit family, even my kids defended him. When they got older they found their own friends, Marlboro and Newport. Makes a mom proud, I tell ya. Well, number one son decided he didn't like his friend Marlboro anymore and left him at the station about 2 years ago. He has gotten really adamant about him. He won't even go into a room if marlboro is there. He says they bother him. Sure. I bet. Well it turns out I have been wrong. My friend changed his name once again to GPC. He said the government is making us all pay more for him now to try to break up our friendship. But my doctor says he really isn't a friend at all. No friend would jepordize my health and the health of those around me. A real friend wouldn't be trying to kill me slowly and painfully. So we spending some time together this morning. Though I know we must part, it still hurts. I have many wonderful memories with him. I have shared every high and low point in my life with him. He has been the one constant in my life that never got angry, never over drank and never left me. He never yelled. He never hit me or my loved ones. He always made me calm when I was upset, gave me comfort when I was sad. He was at every party. He shared every drink. He has been there every morning without fail. He has never abandoned me. No wonder he is so addictive. But it's time to move on, my friend. I have a new friend now. His name is Nicorette. He is moving in for a while to help me get over you. When I leave you to go to work, I am taking him with me and see how we get along. I won't say you won't be missed, for you will, my friend, but you have just become too dangerous to be around and It's time I got on with my life. I'm sure I will see you around. For a while, I am going to stay away from places I know you hang out at. And maybe someday I will just simply be able to ignore you altogether. I hope so. Go peddle your death somewhere else. You are no longer welcome here. Later... Later,
Cosmic
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yesterday's gone/tomorrow's coming- - 2009-07-27
- - 2009-07-07
- - 2009-06-29
- - 2009-06-26
- - 2009-06-09
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