Monday, Feb. 28, 2005 9:06 P.M.
Love this! To all my email friends: I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your darn chain letters over the past year. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed and wealthy. Because of your concern� I can no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put �Under God� on their cans. I no longer drink anything from a can because I will get sick from the rat urine and feces. I no longer use saran wrap in the microwave because it will give me cancer. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones or vending machines because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with perfume samples and rob me. I no longer accept packages from FEDEX or UPS because they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I no longer shop @ Target because they are French and don�t support our troops. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid number which I will get the phone bill from that nasty place with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan. I no longer eat pre-packaged foods because the estrogen they contain will turn me gay. I no longer eat @ KFC because ethier chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer date the opposite sex because they take my kidneys and leave me in a bathtub full of ice. I no longer have sneakers but that will change once I receive my replacement pair from NIKE. I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have the recipe. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 625,987 angles looking out for me and St. Theresa�s novena has granted my every wish. Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within the next 5 minutes. (JEEZ the Bible didn�t mention that it worked this way) An official in Uganda whom I do not know has selected me to receive 10% of 80 million dollars if I will let him use my bank account to move the funds. I no longer have any money at all, but that wil all change once receive the $25,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program. So again Thank you all who have enriched my life so deeply but please stop sending me this stuff as I have no intention of forwarding it to 15 people in the next 5 minutes. Later,
Cosmic
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yesterday's gone/tomorrow's coming- - 2009-07-27
- - 2009-07-07
- - 2009-06-29
- - 2009-06-26
- - 2009-06-09
MY PERSONAL HEALTH PROGRAM
� kmurray 2007 - 8
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