Thursday, Jun. 05, 2003 7:15 A.M.
Funnies and Surgeries. Not at the same time, of course I received this in an e-mail. These are so very true. I am happy to admit to being a "real" woman:
Ladies: If a lady accidentally over-salts a dish while it's still cooking, she drops in a peeled potato and it absorbs the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up".
Real Woman: If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."
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Ladies: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Real Woman: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?
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Ladies: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Real Woman: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.
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Ladies: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Real Woman: Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
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Ladies: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Real Woman: Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate it for you.
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Ladies: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Woman: Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don't do it.
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Ladies: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Woman: Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it.
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And finally the most important tip....
Ladies: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Woman: Leftover wine??
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A good friend will come and bail you out of jail... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
I went to my GYN appointment yesterday. I just KNOW these doctors are getting younger. I swear, he is only about 12. Ok, not quite that young. He is very nice. I found out that I must have one lazy-assed bladder though. I have to have surgery to put it in a hammock, or "sling" Go figure. I finally get to lay around in a hammock all day but the only part of my body that gets to enjoy it is my bladder! To any of my readers over the age of 40 who have born children, you know what this is about, huh? I guess mine is an extreme case. It probably all started way back 32 years ago when my son decided to make his entrance into the worl butt first with his little legs wrapped up around his head. He kicked the hell out of my "inards" for about 12 hours. After that, gravity and age did a job through the years. Since it isn't life-threatening, I am putting it off until October when my full sick time gets renewed. At least this time, they aren't taking anything out! I will only be in the hospital overnight and out of work for 1 to 2 weeks. If it isn't one thing, it's another. I did the research. This is a very safe, low risk surgery, so I will hopefully breeze right through it. Ya, famous last words. I'm not worried about it though. I have to go in a few weeks before for a 5 minute test. It is called a simple cyctometrics. That makes me more nervous than the surgery. They fill your baldder to capacity and then a little more to see what shape it's in. Then they make you cough. Oh ya baby, just what I want to do in that position. Through all this, I have drawn one conclusion GETTING OLD SUCKS!!!Well, it still beats the alternative. Later�
Later,
Cosmic
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yesterday's gone/tomorrow's coming- - 2009-07-27
- - 2009-07-07
- - 2009-06-29
- - 2009-06-26
- - 2009-06-09
MY PERSONAL HEALTH PROGRAM
� kmurray 2007 - 8
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