Friday, Jul. 04, 2003 9:13 P.M.
The 4th Night, Get it? I hope you all had a great 4th of July. Since Sister Carol had to work at the Club from 9am till 1 am, we are doing our cookout at her house tomorrow. But today was something else, I tell ya. It was a comedy of errors.
First, I was going to make (I decided last night) my famous and delicious Chex mix. I was told I didn't have to bring anything, but I am not a mooch and would not think of going empty-handed and I have been craving it lately anyway. I know the reason is because of the salt. I crave salt from the first hot day of summer till the last. No it doesn't bother my blood pressure, so lay off.
I woke up this morning and was making out a grocery list. I figured I would have the store to myself since everyone else would be at cookouts, right? Wrong! The place was mobbed. There was nothing on the shelves. Did we have an end-of-the-world threat while I slept last night?
While making out my list, I grabbed the flyer with the coupons. Watermelon was on sale for $2.99 each. Not per pound no! Each! And, dare I say it? It was seedless!!! So I revamped my plans. I don't have a lot of talent, but hear me when I tell ya, I make an awesome fruit-filled watermelon basket. All cut and cutsey. Full of fruit and, oh ya, a pint of Bacardi rum. I empty the watermelon and use my melonballer and make cute little balls out of the meat of the watermelon, one honeydew, one cantaloupe and then I toss in some strawberries, blueberries and raspberries. I finish it off with branches of red and green seedless grapes. It's a freakin masterpiece, I tell ya.
Well it WOULD have been. It would have been if they hadn't SOLD OUT OF WATERMELON!!!! I asked the kid working produce where they were and he told me they didn't order as many as they should, but he said he had slices of watermelon. I asked if had any freakin duck tape to go with it. He looked scared as I walked off.
They I decide to go back to plan "A" with the Chex mix. Do you have any idea what they get for Chex cereal nowadays? $5.00 a box, that's what. Now call me cheap, but at that price, by the time I picked up the Wheat, Corn and Rice, it would have been $15.00. Now add the peanuts, pretzels and cheese nips and your talking about $20.00 not counting the butter, seasonings and time. And also that doesn't include the 200 degree kitchen I would have had with the oven on. I would have spent that much on the watermellon basket, but it would have seemed worth it. This was just a snack, for God's sake. Yes, I know, I could have bought bagged Chex mix at the total cost of about $12.00 for 4 bags, but if it isn't my own, I don't want it. I am known far and wide for my home-made Chex mix
Instead, I am taking two huge bags of chips, two big tubs of dip and enough ice for drinks for 7 people for the afternoon. I make great ice, too. I have a wonderful recipe. And remember here folks, I was told not to bring anything from the start. I am a natural born Masochist, I tell ya. (Hi, all you googlers)
The fun did not stop there. Nope. Then I went to find a styrofoam ice chest. You know. The cheap $3.00 ones that can be tossed after? Yup they had one. Repeat�.. one. No lid. Finally after 15 minutes of "Gee, I don't know about those, I work the cash register" and "Gee, I don't know, I just came on" FINALLY, a kid pointed to an older lady and said, "Ask her! She might know." Right, he directed me to the lovely lady that works in the Deli. Of course she would know. She works in the deli. I bet she knows all about the front of the store. She probably knows about the heating system and the accounts payable too. She didn't, but, but, but! She actually went and found one for me! I was ready to bend down and kiss her feet. I was so happy. It was not in her job description to do this, I am sure, but isn't nice to know that at least some people don't mind helping out?
So now I am all set. Well, not actually all set. They didn't have my "I can't believe it's not butter", So hubby will have to settle for "Move over Butter"
They didn't have my 3-pack of bread, so I just bought one.
They didn't have any of the large Maxwell House Coffee that was on sale so I settled for a small one that will last the week. I leave the store. I am under the stupid impression that I am going to just go home and all the bad things will stop happening. Once again, my stupidity proved me wrong. I went out and got in the car and put in the key. I stepped on the gas and all of a sudden got the absolute worse charlie horse in my leg that I have ever had, bar none. I yanked off the seat belt and jumped out of the car faster than Richard Simmons on speed. I stood in severe pain for 20 minutes. I couldn't walk back to the store because I park halfway across the lot, next to where you put the carriages back, I couldn't drive home, I could do nothing. I knew Terry was going to be ready to send out the National Guard with a search and rescue squad. I never thought to take the cellphone because Wherever I go is on a main road.
Finally, a man walked by my car and I spotted a cellphone on his hip. I asked if he could make a phone call for me and explained the ridiculous situation I was in. What a sweetie! He called for me and even waited for the 5 minutes he kept getting a busy signal, saying he couldn't leave me stranded. After I spoke with Terry, I remembered one other time this happened. Someone passing by told me that if it wasn't a potassium problem, it could be that I was dehydrated. I had bought Terry a gallon of Cranberry Juice and so I hobbled to the trunk and got it out. I felt like an idiot standing there guzzling juice out of a gallon container, but at the moment I was beyond humiliation. I was in pain, damn it!
After another 5 minutes, I got back in the car and carefully placed my foot on the gas peddle. Ahhhh, gone. I drove home without it returning and was never so glad to get here.
So I could complain about not having what I wanted to take to the cook-out. I could stay miserable because I didn't get everything I wanted. And I could sit here still upset about the pain of the Charlie Horse. Yup, I could.
Instead, I would like to thank the deli lady for finding my cooler lid. I would like to thank the man with the cellphone. But mostly, I would like to thank God for the family that will be gathered tomorrow, the food that I am blessed with buying, the health that allows me to work and pay for that food and for friends that read all this stuff. Later�
Later,
Cosmic
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