Tuesday, May. 22, 2007 9:30 P.M.
Stuff All sorts of things to chat about tonight. The Television repair guy came the other day. Actually two of them arrived. Bottom line? It IS the remote. Sensitive little bugger. It works fine on the DVD player, the cable box and the audio receiver, but not the TV. I would have argued the point had I not seen it with my own eyes. He brought one of his own and it worked perfectly. They will be sending me a new one. My wonderful, adorable sweeter than splenda hubby went to Walmart today and bought me the 30th Anniversary of Roots DVD. I am so tickled, you can�t believe it. No good deed goes unpunished though. He had been gone for a while and I had expected him home soon when the phone rang. It was him. My first words were, �Where are you??� It doesn�t matter that he wasn�t home, but I like to know he�s safe. He said, �I�m out in the yard. You have to come out, I�m stuck!� Lovely! He weighs approximately 180. His chair weighs 200. I am 150 and 53 years old. Do the math. I hurried out the back door knowing I would probably be useless if his rear tires were off the drive and on the grass. Well, it wasn�t quite what I found. There is about 5 feet of grass on the left of the driveway. He had started to turn around and was now in the trees. The whole chair, with him in it had slid down the grass. No way in hell was I going to be able to move him. The tires had spun in the dirt and that chair was going nowhere. I pushed his manual chair to him and he got into that. Working together, we got him back on solid ground. Then we had the challenge of the chair. I finally came up with the idea of using the kitchen floor mat. I stuck that sucker under the tires and walked it up the little incline just as slick as, as, well really slick, I tell ya. He scratched the hell out of his hand on the bushes, but otherwise, he is no worse for wear. Terry and I had a nice evening tonight. We did who-who. It doesn�t last very long, but it is very satisfying. You know what whoo-who is? No? I tell you, if anyone were to come into this house and were to listen to us sometimes, they would lock us both up. CSI comes on every night in reruns at 6:00 and again at 7:00. No matter where we are in the house, the minute the theme song starts (Who are You), we stop what we are doing and listen. It stars out, �Who are you�, then, Who? Who? Who? Who? We both chime in. But only on the Who? Who? Part. We sound like a couple of deranged owls. I like to call it the Murray mating call. Sometimes I may be in the bedroom and he might be in the kitchen. It doesn�t matter. Lori was here last night. I think she is checking out nursing homes today. We are certifiable. Really. The exterminator came today. He de-beed and de-wasped us. At least I hope he did. What an idiot they sent! I was at the computer and didn�t know they had showed up until I heard him at my front window. Make that the OPEN front window. By that time he had already squirted the poison death juice. A bit later, I went outside. He was surprised to see me. Now listen to what he said and see if you can see why I label him an idiot. �Gee, I didn�t know anyone was home. I hope I didn�t get much dust into your living room.� Ummm, what difference would it have made if I weren�t home? I guess that would have saved him the apology. He still would have sprayed. Love it when they give notice that they are coming. Oh, wait! They told my boss! That�s right. I guess I didn�t need to know. Idiot. Last but not least, I got a wonderful bunch of pirate goodness from poolagirl. I love that she sent them, but I am going crazy here. One of the things she sent was this little guy: Damn it! He just ran away! Cute, no? Well, I though so. At first. He came out of the box and told me he was a rooster. I was a little confused. He looked more like a parrot, but not wanting to hurt his feelings, I didn�t argue. He jumped out and immediately made himself at home. That was okay at first, but now he is pushing it. I had the kitchen all cleaned today and he decided he was hungry. He went out and mad himself a snack and left my kitchen in shambles. Crackers and cheese all over the counter, soda all over the floor, where he spilled it and never even tried to clean it up. I have had messy houseguests before, but he takes the cake. Today he informed me that he lied. He said he wasn�t really a rooster, just a bit cocky. He said he was really a turkey and proceeded to gobble-gobble all morning. He is driving me nuts. He keeps scrouching down and waits until I go by and then sprigs up right in front of my nose! I suggested that maybe he would be happier if I sent him back to Poolie, but he said no. He said he isn�t leaving. Stay tuned. I am sure he is going to give me more adventures before I finally decide what to do with him. Oh, and by the way. Neither roosters or turkeys are housebroken. The saga will continue later. I have just noticed he went out back and made some friends. I don�t mind them playing poker on the back porch, but I am putting my foot down at the keg and Tiki lights. Later,
Cosmic
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