Saturday, Dec. 11, 2004 11:18 A.M.
Ho, Ho, Ho! NOTICE: The joke below is totally politically INcorrect and if it offends anyone, I'm sorry. Well, probably not, but wasn't it nice of me to say anyway? A teacher was very curious about how each of her students celebrated
Christmas Eve.
"Tell me Patrick, what do you do on Christmas Eve?" she asked.
Patrick addressed the class. "Well Miss, me and my twelve brothers and sisters
go to midnight Mass and we sing hymns, then we come home very late and we put
mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then all excited we go to
bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys."
"Very nice Patrick, now Jimmy Brown, what do you do?"
"Well Miss, me and my sister go to Church with Mum and Dad and we sing
carols and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the
chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep waiting for Santa
Claus to bring our presents."
Remembering there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to
leave him out of the discussion, she asked, "Now Isaac Cohen,
what do you do on Christmas Eve?"
"Well Miss, it's the same old thing every year. Dad comes home from the
office. We all pile into the Rolls and drive to his toy factory. When
we get inside we look at all the empty shelves and sing "What a friend
we have in Jesus". Then we go to the Bahamas."
It is true though. Once a year, we go and spend wads of money that we can't afford, to buy things that nowbody wants for people we don't even like. We put on pretty bows and tacky paper.(waste of money) We tell our kids to Pray to ask Santa for a whole list of things we know we can't cover. We then run around singing songs about Rockin around the Christmas tree and Grandma getting run over by a Reindeer. We cause undue stress on that almighty plastic and call it fun. We then attend parties where we drink to excess and have to wonder if we "really" said that to the boss and who was that with his hand on my leg. We do all this and then we get upset that they won't let put up our nativity scene in front of town hall. It seems to me that if we are going to celebrate the capitalistic side of Christmas that maybe we should not let that bother us. Or maybe we should rember that Cristmas is after all "Christ's Mass" and give the season back to HIM. Yes folks, I used the word "WE" collectivley throughout that little rant, but I was talking about myself. I am guilty as charged. Are you? Heck I'm not even sure if I believe in Christianity. I am perhaps the biggest hipocrate there ever was. Can you imagine if everyone that wasn't truly Christian stopped celebrating Christ's birth? Wow, wouldn't the stores and the economy take a direct hit!! And can you imagine if the Christians went and instead of spending all that money on each other, what if they all went back to the true spirit and gave, say three gifts to the homeless or the needy instead of buying all the jewelry and expensive stuff for everyone on their list? Wow, that would fix 'em!! Of course that will never happen because I for one, am not giving up the "now traditional" gift giving, and shopping and wrapping. Nope, I enjoy it too much. I think though, that instead of saying that I'm celebrating Christmas, I am going to start calling it Capitalist Day. Later,
Cosmic
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