Saturday, Apr. 23, 2005 4:35 P.M.
Popcorn Well folks, one of the great mysteries of life has been solved. I am so excited to see that it was solved in my lifetime. This will go down in history as one of the greatest discoveries of the 21st century. The mystery, my friends: Why are there always unpopped kernels at the bottom of the bag???? I know I�ve lost countless hours of sleep over this. I asked my teachers as a child. I asked my minister when I was a Baptist. I asked my preacher when I was a Methodist. I asked my mother, my father, my grandparents. All this to no avail. Finally today, there was the answer. It was all over the news. I found it on CNN.com. I give you an excerpt from the article:
It's long been known that popcorn kernels must have a precise moisture level in their starchy center -- about 15 percent -- to explode. But Purdue University researchers found the key to a kernel's explosive success lies in the composition of its hull.
Unpopped kernels, it turns out, have leaky hulls that prevent the moisture pressure buildup needed for them to pop and lack the optimal hull structure that allows most kernels to explode.
So without further ado, I present you with the solution to the problem<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> 
All you men with your Duct tape, eat your hearts out. Electrical Tape is the solution!! Seal those suckers up and you will have no more waste! They will all pop now, damn it!!I love being a problem solver. I am sure you will all sleep better now. Time to go back to the home.
Later,
Cosmic
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