I am off tomorrow to do the last of my shopping, then I work Thursday and Friday. Then I am off until January 3rd! Yay!!!!!
The two things below were sent to me through email. They are from our niece in England. The clip is from someone, but darned if I can remember who. I think that came from Arizona niece.
Peter Kay's Wise Words...
"Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones."
"At the end of every party there is always a girl crying."
"One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronized with a complete stranger."
"Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl."
"You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses."
"Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school."
"The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity."
"Old women with mobile phones look wrong."
"Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush."
"There�s no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when your hand or head is stuck in something."
"You never know where to look when eating a banana."
"Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan."
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Life Expectancy of Christmas Resolutions...
� Spend more time with family
This has got to be something that you declare as a resolution before Christmas arrives surely, hyperactive kids, deaf grandparents and whinging partners can�t have that much appeal especially during the Christmas period.
Resolution life expectancy: 1 week.
� Fit in Fitness
The realisation that you have got to slip on your joggers and grab your squash racket once again to face your arch enemy, also known as your best mate, is a dreadful thought particularly after pouching 3 turkeys and 6 Christmas puddings, and don�t even mention the alcohol intake. You could always fake injury for a couple of weeks while you train HARD. Resolution life expectancy: 3 weeks.
� Taming the bulge
It�s either spending money on new clothes or spending 30mins each day on the Ab-cruncher for the foreseeable future, and after spending your life savings on gifts for people you barely know over the past few weeks you really only have one choice. Resolution life expectancy: until January payday.
� Quit Smoking
The inability to breathe after that exerting trip to the toilet demands a response. Resolution life expectancy: 2 weeks.
� Quit drinking
What??? Resolution life expectancy: after your first shift back at work.
� Enjoy life more
How can this be possible after the Christmas period. The January Blues is a national epidemic and demands a medical cure. The realization that you�ve put your body, bank balance and relationship under extreme pressure recently really hits home. Resolution life expectancy: no point in trying until February 1st.
� Get out of debt
If you know how please let me know, call me on 0800 000 00165 ext 6538. Resolution life expectancy: your life expectancy.
� Learn something new
Night classes; Learn a new language, art classes, karate, pottery are but a few suggestions but again they all cost money. Wonder if they'll take leftover turkey as deposits. Resolution life expectancy: Until midweek european football hits our screens again.
� Make more friends
Remember, after the Christmas period if your single and in the depths of the January Blues syndrome, it's hardly the time to start looking for new friends or a new relationship. Resolution life expectancy: start this one in February.
� Redecorate/major cleaning
I�ll start it next week�honest. Resolution life expectancy: it may cross your mind.
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Turn up your speakers. You have to hear this as well as see it.
