Thursday, Jan. 15, 2004 8:14 P.M.
IC9 Immunity Challenge 9: Pretty Persuasion
Submitted by Kinetix:
This week there is no immunity, because the judges are going to be voting one of you out.
Your job? Tell them who to get rid of. Write a persuasive IC that convinces the judges which contestant should be the next to leave Oak Island.
The judges will decide on the most best argument and the contestant described in the winning challenge will be the next to leave the game.
NOTE: You may only rally for ONE contestant in your entry. Due to the nature of this challenge, you will have an extra day to complete it (deadline: Thursday, 10 PM EST).
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January 15, 2004
Mr. U.R. Judges
555 Diaryland Way
Oak Island, Canada
30AH71
Dear Mr. Judges,
Upon repeated examinations via both closed circuit cameras and fellow employees' astute observations, it pains me to submit my request for the termination of one Mr. Jason Seventy Five.
While Jason has proven to be a diligent employee in every respect and has shown an exemplary work ethic in the past, he has recently been exhibiting a series of unusual practices that leave me no choice but to come to you and ask that for the sake of any impending lawsuits, his tenure at DS5 be extinguished immediately.
To wit:
* On November 18, Mr. Seventy Five was observed stealing office supplies and stuffing them down the front of his pants, smiling serenely while doing so. Office supplies included but were not limited to: Three staplers, an open box of staples, two containers of white-out and several Post-It Notes. When confronted, Mr. Seventy Five denied the allegations and then shuddered for an inordinate amount of time, judged by his fellow employees as a time period of "three and a half minutes".
* On December 3rd, during an important meeting between clients and upper management, Mr. Seventy Five burst into the room and exclaimed "I'm most comfortable in my Wonder Woman pajamas!" before slamming the door to the conference room, knocking the portrait of our founder, Ms. Meg, off the wall and onto the floor.
* On December 19th at the Annual Office Christmas party, he urinated in a potted plant and blamed it on Ms. Angeline Raw, our president. We were forced to burn the plant and apologize to Ms. Raw.
* On January 5th, he was discovered in the ladies restroom scratching his armpits feverishly and asking his fellow female employees to "sniff my fingers".
* On January 12, Mr. Seventy Five was observed in the janitor�s closet on his knees praying to a plastic statue of a scarecrow. When asked what he was doing, Mr. Seventy Five promptly rose, clicked his heels together and started muttering, �There�s no place like home. There�s no place like home.�
While Mr. Seventy Five has proven in the past to be a fine, upstanding employee, his recent actions leave me no other choice than to request that you terminate him immediately with two weeks' severance pay, and a psychiatric evaluation in the form of an exit interview.
Sincerely,
Cosmic K. Rayola
Concerned Employee
Later,
Cosmic
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