Saturday, Jan. 17, 2004 8:58 A.M.
More funnies. Seeing that nothing is going on around casa Cosmic I really don't have a lot to talk about. Today will consist of shopping, getting a haircut and cleaning. Be still my heart. So I thought I would copy this e-mail and give you a dose of ......... A little (Damn little) Saturday Humor
=========================================
Three friends from the local congregation were asked
"When you're In
your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over
you, what would you like them to say?"
Artie said: "I would like
them to say I was a wonderful husband, a Fine spiritual leader, and
a great family man."
Eugene commented: "I would like them to say I
was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge
difference in people's lives."
Don said: "I'd like them to say,
"Look, he's moving!"
=================================================
A man goes to a shrink and says,
"Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to
me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In
fact, She sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do
you think I should do?"
"Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep
breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"
=================================================
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse"
he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says
"Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used
to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I
now pronounce you man and wife."
=================================================
John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. "Give me one last
request, Dear," he said.
"Of course, John, " his wife said softly.
"Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Bob."
"But I
thought you hated Bob," she said.
With his last breath John said, "I
do!"
=================================================
A man picks up a young woman in a bar and convinces her to come Back
to his hotel. When they are relaxing afterwards, he asks, "Am I the
first man you ever made love to?" She looks at him thoughtfully for
a second before replying. "You might be," she says. "Your face looks
familiar."
=================================================
A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening
and I have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asked, "What's
wrong?" The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?" The man then pleads,
"I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"
The Rabbi then! offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know." A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?" The man said yes and the Rabbi replied, "Take the poison." =============================
Later... Later,
Cosmic
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